Mental Health

My body is not an apology

August 31, 2023

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I'm Michelle — health coach for women who want to escape diet culture and find the health they deserve.

Meet Michelle

In a world inundated with societal expectations and a seemingly constant barrage of body-related messages, the concept of self-love can seem quite foreign. A book that has been gathering dust on my bookshelf recently caught my attention—“The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-love” by Sonya Renee Taylor. While the term “body terrorism” initially made me hesitant to read this book, I found that Taylor’s unapologetic approach challenged me to reevaluate my perspective on self-love and its connection to societal norms.

At its core, this book emphasizes that combating systemic sizeism and discrimination begins within ourselves. The concept of “radical self-love” goes beyond self-compassion and body appreciation–it urges us to intuitively recognize our inherent worth and counteract the implicit biases we’ve absorbed over the years. 

As I explored Taylor’s four pillars of radical self-love—taking out the toxic, mind matters, unapologetic action, and collective compassion—I began to understand the profound impact of these principles in redefining how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.

Pillar 1: Taking out the toxic

The journey towards radical self-love starts with the conscious effort to eliminate toxic influences. These influences infiltrate our minds through media, advertisements, and societal standards, often leading us to make purchases or judgments that feed into the cycle of self-doubt (like anti-ageing creams and body slimming shapewear). By curating our exposure to media and critically assessing the motivations behind our purchases, we can empower ourselves to dismantle the harmful narratives that have been unconsciously guiding our choices.

Pillar 2: Mind Matters

Examining our thoughts is pivotal to the process of radical self-love. My personal therapist describes how many of us have simply become “talking heads,” detached from our bodies due to societal pressures. We need to break down the mental barriers that keep our brains and bodies estranged and embrace our bodies as allies. Only then can we discover the innate harmony between our thoughts and physical presence.

Pillar 3: Unapologetic Action

This pillar means really starting to use that muscle of radical self-love to take action that is going to reconnect you back to your body again. And it’s a muscle that we have to continue to use and build otherwise it will atrophy. So this is something we need to be intentional about on a daily basis. At the heart of it, it’s really all about getting to know your body again, because for so many of us, our body has become like a stranger. And how can you radically love a stranger?

Unapologetic action urges us to engage in activities that help us listen to our bodies and rekindle the lost connection. It could be dancing freely in the kitchen or paying attention to your

body as you get a pedicure or massage. It will help us savor the sensations of our bodies, and break free from the toxic loop that fosters self-critique. By acknowledging our body’s needs and engaging in compassionate activities, we reaffirm our commitment to self-love.

Pillar 4: Collective Compassion

Our internal compass of compassion reflects how we treat ourselves and others. Taylor highlights that trusting ourselves and cultivating self-compassion requires trusting others. This symbiotic relationship helps us create communities that encourage growth and transformation, fostering a collective movement towards radical self-love. As we connect with individuals who resonate with our values, we find solace and support in our shared journey towards embracing our worth.

Dismantling systemic sizeism and discrimination begins within ourselves. Radical self-love is not just an abstract idea; it’s an approach that defies societal norms, and empowers us to embrace our inherent worth regardless of our appearance, age, gender, or abilities. The journey towards radical self-love is challenging yet immensely rewarding, and these four pillars serve as a beautiful reminder of how magical our bodies are and how much joy they can bring us when we put aside all of the negativity.

Are you ready to embark on this journey, break free from the shackles of body shame, and feel empowered to be unapologetically yourself? 

It starts with finding a community where you’re free to talk about all of this without judgment and I think my community, the Nourishment Lounge, is a great place to start. If you’re interested in finding a community like that, please reach out to me at and we can set up a time for you to talk about how my community can help you embody self-love and all of the four pillars that I’ve talked about today.

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